Hello, we’re continuing our relationship series today! After seeing how to equip our children from birth to the age of imagination (around 6), today we’re going to continue our advice on how to properly equip our children from 6 to 20. Let’s not forget that a family begins with a man and a woman coming together to become one and to found a family together by having children. That a child is a true miracle. That becoming a father or mother doesn’t begin with the birth of a child, but starts long before that. God had plans for his children long before they were born. Let’s also remember that we have a responsibility to lead them in those plans and towards the best, constantly remembering that these people are pearls entrusted to us by God. There are no perfect parents, but if God has entrusted them to you, it’s because you’re capable of taking them where He wants them to go, with His help. So let’s continue today from the age of reason… 6. Age of reason (6-8 years): children learn to be reasonable. They move from the world of magic to one of heightened rational logic. They learn to reason and develop their own learning style. With this in mind, it’s important for parents to discover the learning style of each of their children. 7. The Age of Rules (8-10 years): This period is called the Age of Rules because children must learn to regulate many things in their lives. They want more freedom, because they see themselves as “grown-ups”. On the other hand, greater freedom also means greater responsibility. Freedom without rules is freedom under threat, since rules are there to preserve it. At this stage, children must learn to respect, follow, obey and submit to rules. It’s not easy for them to learn these things. With time and patience, he’ll manage to adjust to life’s constraints and demands. 8. The age of heroes (10-12 years): “The age of heroes” is so called because children are fascinated by the characters they see. Physical strength, power and intelligence are all elements that captivate them. The child’s search for identity is largely influenced by others. Good friends have a very positive ripple effect. In the case of dubious friends, parents must remain vigilant. 9. The age of detachment (12-14 years): while the family used to be the primary basis of a teenager’s security, the teenager is gradually moving away from this base to navigate new waters, gradually building his or her security on himself or herself and his or her friends. And this is based on new social experiences. It’s important for parents to remain vigilant and continue their supervision, but this time from a distance. Even if he or she moves away, the teenager needs support and reassurance. 10. The age of power (14-16): this is the “I” period.
He begins to assert his rights, establish his convictions and confront the elements that oppose his point of view. It’s important here for parents to establish the difference between values, attitudes, tastes and tendencies, while progressing towards a new relationship moving from the horizontal (mother-child) to the vertical (adult-adult). 11. The age of love (16-18 years): This is a period of intense and arduous searching to fulfill the growing need for love. For the parent, this period of searching for love and starting to date represents another stage of life and another major challenge. It’s important for parents to set limits early on regarding:
Dating (age and person),
Length of telephone calls,
Dating locations,
Schedules
And to establish a curfew. 12. Age of choice (18-20 years): the 18-20 years period is crucial in terms of the effect and scope of the elements that make it up. The decisions and choices made here will have a definite impact on the conditions of adult life. It’s important to understand that, at this point in their teenagers’ lives, parents no longer have much influence. The power of authority is limited to a power of influence. We can suggest, propose or advise, but we can’t decide for them. The responsibility of parents is no longer as present. As I said last time, life as a parent isn’t easy every day, but let’s never forget that our children don’t belong to us. It’s God who entrusts them to us. He has put his trust in you because you are the best person to carry out this task, despite the ingratitude that can sometimes arise. You are capable of making of this child an unshakeable pillar to impact and positively change this world where he is called! You’re on your way to making him a superhero, and God is by your side every day! On the other hand, never forget that you’re only responsible for : What you do Your thoughts
Your choices
And your behavior As parents, we are not responsible for the thoughts, choices and behavior of our adult children. We can offer them the best education, the best environment, the best family to grow up in. We can’t force anyone to take this on. We can pray and offer them an environment where they will have learned to be responsible and to which they will always want to return. An environment filled and invaded with the presence of God. The most important thing we can offer them is the influence of our relationship with God. In our next Newsletter we’ll look at some keys to making work a real blessing. To make sure you don’t miss out, be sure to sign up by clicking on “I subscribe!” at the end of this article. You can also follow us and share our page on social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and thus benefit from our news by letting others know about it.
See you soon,
You are wonderful!
Joachim Fontaine
Coach | Consultant | Formateur
