Hello, have you noticed how many relationships we have? Couples, children, family, friends, churches, work, hobbies or even more ephemeral ones with a waiter, a delivery man, a salesman calling… All this to manage in a single day! Many tensions and frustrations can arise from the different relationships we have throughout the day. Faced with this, we may find it hard to cope and manage everything. I’ve lost count of the number of frustrations, wounds and damaged relationships (punctual or otherwise). These mistakes, frustrations, injuries and experiences have taught me a lot about relationship management. I’ve learned how to develop a holistic relationship dynamic – how to manage my relationships so that they’re well coordinated and in tune with what I need. In this series of 7 articles, I’m going to share with you some keys to transforming your relationships so that they’re balanced and synergistic. Perception of the relationship and of the other person has a direct and important impact on relationships. To maintain good relationships, you need to heal your wounds, because a wounded person hurts. As human beings, we have different spheres around which our lives are organized and which interfere with each other. For a holistic approach, you need to establish a balanced relational dynamic with priorities ranked from the most important to the least important in terms of harmful consequences if they are neglected. Here are the different spheres we can mention: Spiritual: This refers to the person’s relationship with God, and we must be careful to distinguish between God and the church. We also find here the relationship with oneself. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others for very long.
Family: we’re talking here about the couple, children, parents and other members of the natural family, but also the spiritual family, the church.
Professional: this category includes relationships linked to a person’s work or ministry.
Friends: this category includes close friends
Ephemeral: here we find all the relationships we have that are short-lived or that we are not necessarily called upon to see again. We’ll find, for example, the person who thanked you for letting them go ahead of you at the checkout, or the person you thanked for showing you the way, and so on. All these spheres are intertwined. To develop a healthy, balanced dynamic in your relationships, you need to treat each of them with the care it requires, and according to a well-established order of priority: 1. God: your relationship with God will enable you to feel good, to get answers, to develop a healthy attitude, but above all to keep in mind that a relationship is above all a blessing. In the world we live in, it’s not always easy to remember this because of the horrors we witness. God loves everyone as if they were the most important person.
He knows how to remind us of our value and that of others, but also how to direct us into plans for peace and happiness. God leads us to reach out to others where they are. 2. Family: your family is your second priority. More precisely, your couple is your second priority. Children come third. We’ll explain this in more detail in the next article. 3. Church/work: this is where the first duality comes into play. Time allocation needs to be balanced according to your calling: where are you called to influence and shine God’s glory? 4. Friends / Family (other than core): friends are an important part of our lives, and we’ll even see that they’re part of an essential circle. Family, outside the core too, is an important support (what do you mean?) 5. Ephemeral: this category is often ignored and we tell ourselves it’s no big deal because we don’t see them anymore, but whatever you sow, you’ll reap. If you really want to have good relationships, you have to learn to see each person as a blessing – as a person of the greatest value. Most people encounter difficulties in relationships because they don’t respect these priorities and soon find themselves having to deal with frustrations they or others are experiencing. Resolving them is always possible, but never without consequences. It’s up to each individual to decide whether he or she prefers to spend his or her life building or repairing. In our next Newsletter, we’ll look at some of the keys to a healthy couple. To make sure you don’t miss out, be sure to sign up by clicking on “I subscribe” at the end of this article. You can also follow us and share this article on social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and so enjoy our news.
See you soon,
You are wonderful!
Joachim Fontaine
Coach | Consultant | Formateur
