Hello, We’re wrapping up our “dream breaker” series today, so let’s have a quick recap of what we’ve covered: Dream breaker (1): Face the gaze of others…
Dream breaker (2): Get out of your comfort zone…
Dream breaker (3): Keep your heart
Dream breaker (4): Negativity (the Golden list) Let’s look today at a fifth dream breaker:
Dreambreaker (5): Criticism Criticism is commonplace today, but has been around for a very long time. Human beings like to give their opinion on everything, point out what’s wrong and point out problems. There are journalistic, media, culinary, theatrical and other types of criticism. But the world doesn’t need you to know there are problems. Unless you live surrounded only by blind people, and even then a blind person often perceives things better than people with sight. People also see the problems going on around them, and they need solutions. By criticizing others and backbiting, you’re only undermining your own credibility and making the other person feel sorry for the person you’re criticizing. A striking example of this accompanies us throughout our professional lives. Have you ever been to a job interview
<< First name test >> ? Personally, I’ve been through several, but I’ve also made others go through several. Recruitment is a stage that perfectly illustrates the negative impact of criticism on your own life. When the question comes up: “How did you do in your last job, why did you leave?”, many people start to shoot down their former employer or structure, or better still, justify themselves. However, doing so only leads others to stare right over your head at the 3D image that appears of a funny little man shouting: “WATCH OUT, YOU’RE NEXT”. People aren’t stupid; they know very well that you’ll do the same to them. So you close doors (opportunities, relationships, etc.) that may be necessary for you to achieve your dream. Criticism can be defined as the art of judging works and thoughts, a detailed examination with a view to re-establishing the truth. Critics are often truth-seekers who, rather than influencing the world with a solution, let themselves be influenced to become a problem. What about you
<< First name test >> ? Are you a problem or a solution? The purpose of this is not to judge or condemn you. You’re not perfect, I’m not perfect, but we have a responsibility to evolve and progress, and in that sense, seeing the problems is important. When we see the problem and it cries out in our hearts and fills you with anger, holy anger, chances are you’re in the best position to find the solution. When you don’t like something, don’t wait for things to change on their own or for someone else to change things, as the natural human tendency is to “tame” the problem, i.e. to live with it. Take the initiative for change and provide a solution. When faced with a problem or the temptation to criticize, here are a few steps to help you:
Face reality: leadership expert Dean Radtke tells us that facing reality is the most effective way to bring about change. There’s no point in denying or rejecting the situation.
Master your language: critical thinking is often the first step to finding solutions, but it’s not the same as criticism. Master your language for now, and think about it. Do you know the expression: “Turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before speaking”… put this into action!
Get to the root of the problem: what’s actually causing the problem?
Find solutions: what could be an alternative to this? How can we solve this problem? Ask yourself: is this really useful? What are the costs (material, but also emotional, relational, etc.)? How can this solution be implemented? Is this a solution I should implement or suggest? Undertake or suggest: if this solution is the answer to the problem you’ve seen, then you’re probably the best person to carry it out. However, it may be that someone else has to do it. One day, a statesman had a problem: he knew that a drought was going to devastate his country. Another person, who was in prison at the time, suggested a solution: to store provisions in granaries while waiting for the harvest, and then make them available to the people. The statesman was so surprised by the solution that he gave him the responsibility of carrying it out. This the ex-convict accomplished with bravery and excellence, promoted from prisoner to prime minister.
Listen and persevere: a solution may not be accepted immediately, but this does not call into question your abilities or who you are, or even your destiny. It may simply not be the right time. It may also be incomplete or take time for things around you to settle down, so be patient in these cases.
<< First name test >>Critical thinking reveals intelligence, but criticism reveals ignorance. The steps above will help you develop, exercise and benefit from your critical faculties. With regard to criticism, I’m going to give you a simple key that will help you develop your positivity and your sense of encouragement. I call it the 10 for 1. Before criticizing someone, make sure you sincerely find and declare at least 10 qualities about that person. If after that you still find it so important to say your criticism then do so directly to the person in love and gentleness. A gentle word calms the fury! Always remember that people don’t want to follow a negative person who criticizes and demoralizes, but they will be inclined to follow a person who encourages, motivates, inspires and provides solutions to change things! In our next newsletter, we’ll be starting a series on emotions, looking at their role, balance and management. To make sure you don’t miss out, be sure to sign up by clicking on “I’m subscribing! You can also follow us and share this article on social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and so enjoy our news. See you soon,
You’re wonderful!
Joachim Fontaine
Coach | Consultant | Trainer
