Hello,
How are you feeling at the moment? Emotions… what a subject! Today we come to our sixth article of seven in this “Me & my emotions” series. There’s a lot to say on the subject! For the past few days, I’ve been working hard to contain myself, but above all to preserve my heart and cultivate healthy emotions. Easier said than done, isn’t it? Yet once you know how it works, it’s pretty quick and very, very important to put into practice for yourself and others. No one likes to be with an unpleasant person, and emotions can very quickly lead to a “meltdown”, a nervous breakdown, a burst of uncontrolled anger, paranoia or, less visible but just as destructive: implosion. This kind of attitude makes us obviously unpleasant and leads not only to isolation but also to the cultivation of unhealthy emotions, even towards ourselves. Both of these things are formidable weapons against you. So how can you avoid this and cultivate healthy emotions? Here are a few keys to put into practice: Make peace with your past: as we mentioned at the start of the series, emotions are information we receive. Every interpretation of a situation leads to an emotion. Our unhealed wounds lead us to misinterpretations. These lead to biased (unhealthy) emotions, sources of confusion. To make peace with your past, make sure you repent of your mistakes, forgive those who have offended you and forgive yourself for having done or accepted things you shouldn’t have. Sort out your present: every situation we live in, every thing we look at or listen to throughout the day, every preoccupation we have, provokes emotions in us and influences our behavior and attitude. I’ll give you an example: when I was younger, I used to watch the news all the time (8 p.m. news), and I realized that for years all I heard was bad news. I was optimistic by nature, but became increasingly fearful and distrustful. One day I realized that much of the information I was assimilating was either negative or depressing, and communicated emotions that were not good because of my sensitivity. So one day I made the decision not to watch the 8 o’clock news any more, but instead to go and find some useful information on the internet at other times of the day. I’ve never missed the news, because all around me, less sensitive people keep me informed or simply talk about it, but I feel much better that way and my nights are calmer.
Be optimistic about your future: dreaming cultivates good emotions. It generates enthusiasm, energy and joy. According to a study published in 2009 in the European Journal of Social Psychology, a habit is replaced by a new one over a period ranging from 18 to 254 days, with an average of 66 days. So if you’re in the habit of seeing the glass as half-empty, considering the worst or seeing things negatively, you can change in less than a year.
It may seem like a long process, but patience and discipline are the keys to happiness. Start today, and you’ll gain a benefit that can really change your life. It’s really worth it! Always remain true: truth can seem derisory in the world we live in. Values such as authenticity, transparency and sincerity are no longer the same, and many people interpret them differently. Without judgement, let me tell you: there’s no such thing as a nice lie or a false truth! Both are lies and have very harmful consequences for you and others. Lies break trust, cultivate guilt and insecurity, lead to a fear of being revealed and plunge you into a desire to hide what you’re ashamed of. The truth, even if it’s hard to tell, may lead you to lose certain things, but by being honest you leave room for others to forgive you. The truth will set you free! Living in the truth will lead you to give priority to the relationship and a healthy climate, rather than opening the door to an unhealthy climate in which you’ll soon suffocate. Yes, the truth sets you free, free from fear, free from guilt, free from the gaze of others and from many things that are not good for you. I’ve learned to be honest, I’ve learned to be sincere, I’ve learned to overcome the fear of being rejected for my imperfections in order to progress in perfection. By living the truth, you will certainly cultivate a climate that will enable you to develop healthy emotions and healthy relationships.
Turn your gaze towards others: As I said, I’ve learned to overcome the fear of rejection. The feeling of rejection is just an image of egocentricity. People don’t reject you because it’s you, you and you again, they reject you because they, they and they again have a wound that drives them to protect themselves. Turning your gaze towards others will free you from many unhealthy emotions and propel you towards self-confidence! Act with love! Loving people is the greatest thing that can help you develop healthy emotions. When you act out of love, you’re sure to want the best for others. No matter what people may say, think or say back to you, you’re not responsible for it, and you know why you’re doing it. It can be painful to experience this, but love means being ready to suffer. (The one who loved the world the most, Jesus, accepted the greatest suffering to free us and enable us to regain the most important relationship in our lives. But he taught us a great lesson: while all his opponents thought they had won at that moment (death on the cross) and saw it as love’s greatest defeat, Jesus shows us, precisely at that moment, that love has won the greatest victory of all time. Love always triumphs, releasing in you an assurance and emotions unlike any other. I invite you today to make peace with your past, sort out your present and remain optimistic about your future.
By remaining true to yourself, you’ll be able to cultivate a healthy climate conducive to good emotions. Living with your eyes on others will help, and acting out of love will give you wings to experience freedom and fulfillment like never before. You may think your situation is impossible, but nothing is. Anything is possible, so never give up.
In our next Newsletter, we’ll conclude our series by looking together at how to release healthy emotions before embarking on a series on relationships. To make sure you don’t miss out, be sure to sign up by clicking on “I subscribe!” at the end of this article. You can also follow us and share our page on social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and thus benefit from our news by sharing it with others.
See you soon,
You are wonderful!
Joachim Fontaine
Coach | Consultant | Formateur
